Father's Day

Just a note, a little note,
she asked me for a note.
And so it is with pen in hand
This is what I wrote.

I wrote of Father's Day
and what it meant
to be minus my boys.
My little gents.

I wrote of the days
during which I cry
in those private places
where no one can spy.

I wrote of memories
which always flood back,
Like the wind that whistles
down this well worn track.

Then I turned away
from this path of distress
'cause I know so well
that strength is my quest,
and is easily found
in those who are left.

So Father's Day is like any other:
In love with my children
and their mother.

Anonymous

Never to feel the Sun

They brought you for us to hold
You were too small to be born today
Your hands, feet and ears so perfect in every way.
As your father and mother, we shared dreams as one
Would you be a daughter or a son?
As we held you in our arms, our little son
We realised our dreams are no longer real ones.
You will never smell the flowers, hear the rain, chase
a butterfly, or have a lot of fun.
You will never feel the sun.
Goodbye, our little one.

Anon

Emma's Secret

I'm just a little girl
Who didn't quite make it here
I went straight to be with Jesus
But I'm waiting for you there

Don't you fret about me mummy,
I'm of all God's lambs most blessed
I'd have loved to stay there with you
But the shepherd knows what's best.

Many, dwelling here where I live,
Waited years to enter in
Struggled through a world of sorrow
And their lives were marred with sin.

So sweet mummy don't you sorrow,
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom
I went straight to Jesus bosom
From my lovely Mother's womb.

Thank you for the life you gave me
It was brief but don't complain
I have all of heaven's glory
Suffered none of earthling's pain.

Thank you for the name you gave me,
I'd loved to brought it fame
But if I'd lingered in earth's shadows
Might instead have bro't it shame.

Daddy gave me something for you,
It's our secret mummy dear.
Pressed it tight against my forehead,
Whispered in my tiny ear.

I'll be waiting for you, mummy -
You, and Daddy, brother Chris.
I'll be with you then forever -
Then I'll give you Daddy's kiss.

Emma Seeds was born still on December 22nd, 1992

JORDAN

You lived inside of me
And possessed my heart and soul
And now that you're an Angel
I'll never see you grow
I only held you for a while
As tears streamed down my face
I saw your Father kiss you good night
As he took you to another place
Rainbows stars the sun and the moon
All our dreams and wishes
You were the light in this dreary world
Full of warmth and kisses
I know we will survive
Because I truly do believe
That one day we'll meet in Heaven
And be a family again
We wish we had more time with you
But our love will never die
You are in our hearts forever
Jordan, this is not goodbye

Written by Christine Hatzis

Dear friend of Mary and Silvano Ciavatta- parents to Jordan

For Genna and Alish

A miracle of life made into two
Two babies to have and hold
Twenty fingers
Twenty toes
Two prams to push
Four lips to kiss four hands to hold
Two bodies to cuddle
Two faces to adore.

Now

No babies to have or hold
No twenty fingers
No twenty toes
No prams to push
No lips to kiss
No feet to tickle
No hands to hold
No bodies to cuddle
No faces to adore
No miracle left
Only emptiness

Love From Mum

Song for an empty cradle

FOR ANDREA

Out my bedroom window rests my gaze
Through the mist of emptiness and pain's grey haze
I watch the patterns softly formed and changed.
The hillsides' grasses gently rearranged
By the winds' caressing touch.
From my womb she fell; my breath was stilled
By fear and pain and yet my heart was filled
By the overwhelming wonder of what was Andrea
That now lay white and quiet in my hand.
My baby, my prayers, the life that I had planned
Were gone. And in their place was left
A desert. Hot and empty so bereft
of hope, save for the splintered dreams I'd planned
That shined like broken bottles in the sand.
And soon the minutes into long months turn,
And even with time's comfort still I yearn
To hold her once in warm embrace
And say goodbye, and yet, there is a place
I carry her still, within my heart, steadfast;
For even the briefest of memories last.
Out my bedroom window rests my gaze
Through the mist of emptiness and pain's grey haze.
I watch the patterns softly rearranged
And know my life, my dreams have all been changed.
My daughter's life was brief yet such
That in my emptiness I have so much.

Clara Wilbrandt-Koenig

Two tiny lives

Two tiny lives
Were in my keeping
They would have looked to me
For protection and guidance
In the years that laid ahead
Two tiny lives
Were in my keeping
They would have learnt their
First lessons of love from me and
How to walk talk laugh and sing.
Two tiny lives
Are in God's keeping
Looking down from heaven above
Dancing jumping running and smiling
I'm so glad you're in such good hands.

Debbie Szann

Father's Day

A gift for you on Fathers Day,
What on earth could it be?
I know the gift you really want,
Is to once again, have me.
Or perhaps the gift of understanding,
To make sense of a senseless loss.
I'm sorry, my dearest Daddy,
But for those gifts, you must talk to the boss.
The gifts that I can give today,
Are memories, both sad and sweet.
From the touch of your hand on Mummy's tummy,
To my tiny little feet.
Remember the joy you felt inside,
When you found out you would be my Daddy?
The great big smiles upon your face,
You were over the moon, you were so happy.
Remember when you felt me move,
The wonder and love you'd feel?
Remember it today Daddy,
It just might help you heal.
Remember the little cuddles we had,
And the moments that we shared.
Remember my little nose,
And the colour of my hair,
I love you dearest Daddy, you know that this is true.
Just keep your memories of me alive,
And I will always live in you.

©Sharon Swinney 1995

Reprinted with permission from SANDS (QLD) Newsletter - September 1995

May not be reproduced without permission from Author.

A Father's Love

I remember when you were born;
a father's joy turned to sorrow.
There was no one to smoke cigars or wet your tiny head,
no pats on the back, no 'Good on ya mate',
Just emptiness and despair.

You worry about your wife and the way that she feels
You start to hide emotions as if it isn't real.
You bottle up your feelings
Because you think that men can't cry
while all the time the hurt is tearing you up inside.

When you're back at work it's always, 'How's the wife?'
You can't tell your mates the pain cuts you like a knife.
So you learn to suffer in private, don't want to show that you can't cope
with the fact that your child's life was taken away
and you have lost all hope.

You dream of what would have been,
of playing cricket, or football
Of checking out the daughter's boyfriends
and walking her down the aisle.
It all hurts so much; but all you can do is smile.

Gary Unsworth, Nepean SANDS group

I Think

I say, "I'm pregnant."
You say, "How wonderful, congratulations."
I think, "You don't understand, I'm afraid."
You think, "Good, soon she will be happy again.
I say, "I'm afraid it might all happen again."
You say, "Lightning won't strike twice, don't worry."
I think, "Why ever not."
You think, "She is just being paranoid, the chances of it happening again are not very high."

I think, "How can you understand how vulnerable I feel?
Since our baby died I have lost all naiveté
all belief in happy endings
all sense of trust in my body
I no longer believe that if I look after myself and the baby
that everything will be all right, after all that is what
I did last time and look what happened.
You can't fool me so easily again.

Of course I am happy about this pregnancy ....

thrilled and of course I will look after myself and the baby (to the very best of my ability)
but I realise now the there are no guarantees.
So no words of comfort or encouragement that you can say are enough for me.
I feel that I have bought a lottery ticket,

and you are congratulating me on getting the first prize before the lottery is even drawn.
I prefer the wait and see approach.
I would appreciate it if you could try to understand how vulnerable I feel and support me with your love, concern, and prayers during this pregnancy.

Be with me when I feel like talking just as you have been with me during my grief.
But don't offer me platitudes or statistics or comfort I've had enough of them.
Instead offer me YOUR naiveté YOUR belief in happy /endings.
You never know some of your optimism might just rub off on me!"

Jane

Reprinted from SANDS (South Australia) Newsletter - February 1994

A Letter Of Love to My Sons.

Oh dearest little snowflake,
You are lucky to expect
A little competition
For your pride of place.

Now maybe you're not sure
That this turn of fate is fair,
And another son has come along
To rival you as heir.

The roles and rules have altered
So much along the way,
Because of quirks in nature
On his first birthday.

Your brother's been in danger,
He's fought harder than he could.
He's been to places and returned
For reasons not understood.

Efforts of man and womankind
have lent him great support,
But battles for life extol a price
That's the battle he has fought.

And of this price how much to pay,
What toll to be of him?
Some precious breaths at life is all,
No chance to commit a sin.

Don't be sad my little son
That your position's been displaced.
For in my heart there is a point
Only he will ever grace.

This has come from moments of heartfelt sorrow,
Never sure of his survival till the morrow.
And then so peacefully, he slipped away,
Could I continue into another day?

But here you are so full of life,
All temperament, joy and strife.
To push me along to struggle anew,
I give credit for this, in part to you.

You also have a most special part
Reverently stored within my heart.
Through the gift of your life, my beautiful boy,
Comes the means to carry dreams of joy.

David.
SANDS (WA) Newsletter March 1996

For Sam

A brief life now over
Life's but a span.
I know how your heart aches.
I know how your heart breaks.
To bid now farewell
to my grandson, Sam.

Lullaby, o lullaby.
Sing some sad rounddays.
Muted the strings
Since sorrow began.
The world's said goodbye Sam
And so too, must I, Sam.
Child of just thirteen days,
My Grandson, Sam.

Brian Hughes - Sam's Granddad
SANDS (WA) Newsletter March 1996

Song for Ashton

He hears our cries, He longs to dry our tears,
He feels our pain, our hopes, our dreams, our fears...
A mother's aching heart, a father's silent tears,
He knows the hurt that burns deep inside.
A longed-for child, held gently in our arms,
A tiny heart that beat so strong now lies still.
The memories are so precious of that fading little life...
She now rests....asleep in Him

Oh but why is it so, we must bear this pain and grief?
His will seems sometimes hard to know.
Life's bittersweet mysteries, so often bring us to our knees
Lord...help our faith to grow.

Long ago a child was born on Christmas Eve,
A Gift of Love for all who would receive...
A tender heart full of love was sent from above,
To heal the broken hearts of those who grieve.
An innocent man, He died to set us free...
He conquered death and rose to victory,
So we can be assured, when a precious life has gone,
She's cradled,...sleeping in the Lord

The questions and the heartache, the memories linger on,
May we trust and never lose our faith.
We know our Father hears us, and won't forget His own.
A child that sleeps will one day soon awake!

The time has come when we must say "Goodbye",
But we know that someday you'll be in our arms...
With a heart that beats so strong, we'll hold you eternally long,...
A precious child whose life will never end
And we'll praise His name for His power to restore,...
Little lives once lost will live forever more,
Lord please help us to be strong, as through life we journey on,...
For we now we'll be together before too long.

Alan Keye (25.12.1995)
SANDS (WA) Newsletter March 1996

Baby Brooke

by Tanya Dowling

I will never forget the feeling
When my life was torn apart
No matter how hard I try
It will never leave my heart
I never got the joy
Of hearing her little cry
I never got to say hello
But only a sad goodbye
She laid very still
As I held her to my heart
My darling little girl
Why did we have to part
The only thing I asked
Was someone to tell me why?
But no-one had the answer
Why this young life had to die.
Even though she's gone
I never will forget
The time we had together
Or the very first time we met
Baby 'Brooke' knows I LOVE her
And I know she's safe
I never will forget
That beautiful little face....

Tara

I'm sure God will look after you with tender loving care,

for you are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen 'I do swear'
But all we have to remember you by are photos and your lock of hair.
Our hearts seem to have formed a very large tear, left baffled, shocked and in despair.
We know that life is not always that fair.

But the pain is at ease for there are people showing they care.
Tara, it will take time but don't worry for we will be there.

Sweet dreams Little One

Daddy

For Freya and Robin

FOR FREYA

My smallest child
You grew in my red-walled womb for just twelve weeks
For five more weeks my womb cradled your dead body
Now you are gone
and I never saw you

There is a memory of your body within mine
There is a tree to mark a grave with no corpse
but you are gone

Good bye my smallest child
I will love you always

FOR ROBIN

Goodbye Robin
You lived in my warm red womb for 20 weeks
clinging defiantly to life
although your body was damaged
and your death inevitable.

Goodbye Robin
You were conceived with love
nurtured with love
died with love
born with love
and we held your dead body with love.

Goodbye Robin
We will not forget you
You are our son,
part of our family,
part of our lives.

Goodbye Robin
Now there is no child in my womb,
No baby in my arms,
just these ashes to place beneath this tree.

Goodbye Robin Frykberg Moskovitz.

Kate Frykberg

Mum to:
Jeremy 19 October 1991
Freya (missed abortion at 17 weeks, baby died at about 12 weeks, March 1993)
Robin (died at 20 weeks gestation from Noonan's Syndrome, February 1994)
Benjamin 6 September 1995

To Our Precious Twin
Jordan Christian Lowe

From the start you were a bonus
though you gave your Mum a shock
your Dad become so proud to think
that two were in his flock.
But Darling twasn't meant to be
that you would see the light
The world just wasn't ready
the time just wasn't right.
You came in peace and comfort
and knew no other way
They tried to keep you healthy
but you just couldn't stay.
You touched so many people
your Mum and Dad and Aunts
Your Grandparents and Cousins
we wish you'd had a chance.
So we will not forget you
we have your brother here
To love and laugh and cuddle
and keep your memory near.

Joanne Burke
17th February 1996

Our Baby

Late I was.
Yes. It could be,
that we would have a baby.
The doctor said we will do a test.
I sat waiting holding my breath,
the doctor looked at me and said yes.
Tears of joy filled my eyes, I was so
happy we would have a child.
Straight to the pub I went to Allan.
Two surprises he would get.
He walked in the door my loved one did.
I handed him the best present yet.
His face went blank and then he smiled,
his eyes grew wet and then he cried.
Morning sickness lasted all day
mixed emotions came my way
sick I was but still, after all
I would have a child in nine months
to fill me with joy.
Two weeks the pain I had,
to the doctor's I did go.
No you'll be OK - take two Panadol
and call me the next day.
Again and again I did complain.
The pain grew worse.
I thought was my baby OK!
I woke at 6.00, Wednesday 6th of June.
My God, I drove to the hospital. I wasn't due.
No, go home you'll be OK.
Then the blood came my way.
I was in hospital straight away.
An ultrasound they did do.
Its hands and feet I saw them too.
Well - my baby lived for four days more.
Sunday came and all was lost.
I had a miscarriage, my baby was lost.
I sit here in silence as I write this poem.
My heart aches for this little person.

You who I did not hold.

Krystyna Gwiazdzinski 

The Christmas Present

©1996 Sharon Swinney - 23rd March 1996

There was a special little present,
Sitting under the Christmas tree.
The card attached simply said,
'From Mary, with love, to my Mummy'.
Oh, how my heart did sing,
When I saw that special gift.
Your daddy did this for you,
And it gave me such a lift.
I don't think he really understood,
Just how much it meant to me.
For him to do something so lovely,
And create a memory.
I felt like you were with us,
That you were a part of this time.
A gift from you, my little one,
Helped fill this gap of mine.
And as the Christmas lights,
Shone upon my silent tears.
I made a little wish,
That he'd do it again, next year.

©Sharon Swinney
Reprinted with permission. May not be reproduced without permission from Author.

Our Perfect Son Jaye

Our Perfect Son Jaye
Never saw light of day,
God quickly saw fit
To take him away.

Jaye never saw the world
But he heard it's sounds all right
From our barking dogs each day,
To his lullaby each night.

Our Perfect Son Jaye,
Quietly born - not a peep,
The lasting sound now
Is of us as we weep.

His full pouting lips
And cute button nose,
God has in store
Big things we suppose.

Our Perfect Son Jaye
His body tiny to start,
How could one oh so small
Steal so much of our heart?

Too perfect to live,
Had brown hair like his Dad,
Too short was his life
Too short but not sad.

Our perfect Son Jaye
Had the softest of skin,
Fine brown eye lashes
He knew not of life's sin

He never saw hatred
Or sadness or crime,
He only knew love
And he left before time

Our Perfect Son Jaye
In Peace does he sleep
Never making a sound
His rest everlasting and deep.

We're sure he looks down now
On us from above
Feeling nothing but joy,
Peace, contentment and love.

Our Perfect Son Jaye
Was too perfect you see
God grabbed him straight back
He was not meant to be.

We'll never forget you
And the love that you brought,
Our Perfect Son Jaye
We are so overwrought.

A Baby's Secret

I'm just a little fellow
who didn't quite make it there
I went straight to be with Jesus
But I'm waiting for you here.
Don't you fret about me mother
I'm of all God's Lambs most blest
I'd have loved to stay here with you
But the shepherd knows what's best.
Many dwell where I live
Waited years to enter in
Struggled through a world of sorrow
And their lives were marred with sin.
So sweet mother don't you sorrow
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom
I went straight to Jesus' bosom
From my lovely mother's womb.
Thank you for the life you gave me
It was brief but don't complain
I have all of heavens glory
Suffered none of earthlings pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me
I'd loved to have brought it fame
But if I'd lingered in earth's shadows
Might instead have brought it shame.
Father gave me something for you
It's our secret mother dear
Pressed it tight against my forehead
whispered in my tiny ear.
I'll be waiting for you mother
You and father, brothers and sis
I'll be with you then forever
Then I'll give you fathers kiss.

Submitted by Jacqui of Katanning

This poem is dedicated to our little angel in heaven.

I was 8 months pregnant when she was stillborn.

Courtney Ann

A rose once grew where all could see,
sheltered beside a garden wall.
And, as the days passed swiftly by,
it spread its branches, straight and tall...

One day, a beam of light shone through
a crevice that had opened wide~
The rose bent gently toward its warmth
then passed beyond to the other side...

Now, you who deeply feel its loss,
be comforted~the rose blooms there~
Its beauty even greater now,
nurtured by God's own loving care.

Missing you,
Mommy and Daddy.
Cindy

Georja

My wonderful surprise
How excited I was
The plans we all had made.
A week overdue.
41 weeks I'd been waiting for you.
Then that feeling
Something wasn't quite right
And the doctor told me so
You had to be somewhere else.

I've never been so angry, so sad , so lost.
I held you, kissed you, cuddled you
If only I could have given you the kiss of life.
Anything
If only you had opened your eyes.
The cry that never came.
If only, what if, if only I had???

I feel you are with me everyday
You make me feel warm inside
I know your safe in your special place
But I wish you were in my arms.
I could write a million words, cry a million tears
Yell, scream and sink into despair
But you're my little girl and that's not what we would do

So my little Georja
I'll carry you in my heart
And even though we were not together
We will never be apart.

For nine wonderful months
You and I were one
Memories I will never forget
You give me strength to carry on
And we grow stronger
My little cloud painter
The sunsets prove to me
That even though we are not together
we will never be apart.

Love you Mummy
Jackie Houstan

For my best friend who lost a baby.

Never will we see your sweet little face

Never will we get to have a warm embrace

Never will we touch your soft velvet skin

Never will we forget what you meant from within

Always you will be in our thoughts of yesterday

Always you will be our baby that couldn't stay

Always you will be our little angel up above
watching over your brothers with a special kind of love!

For the baby of Jay and Sarah

Amy Solberg