Granny's Tears

The long awaited day came nearer; time was spent always within earshot of the phone.  A first Grandchild about to become a reality. The morning sickness, advice, sleepless nights and all the experiences of pregnancy had been relived through the nine months of my daughter's 'waiting time'.  A telephone call, just a few words; stillborn; life would never be the same again. I can remember the awful pain of those words, the smell of polish I had used that morning, the small yellow orchids from the bush I collected and tied with a ribbon, to take to my darling Granddaughter who would never hold my hand.  At the hospital I nursed her; she was beautiful; and I kissed her goodbye forever.

It's now four years since this happened and although there are two more Grandchildren, I still miss Ellen, and the tears still flow. Not all the time, but when something or someone triggers off a memory. Special times of the year are the hardest to bear. So please, on behalf of all Grannies, I ask you to understand that our grief is just as deep, although different, to yours. We too see new babies in prams; we too ask "why me". And to all the Grannies I would say, yes it does get a little easier as time goes past, but just for now, let the tears flow and remember the baby who is forever in a corner of your heart.

Sheila Ward
SANDS (WA) Newsletter March 1996