For families who are bereaved, the Christmas season is often very difficult, it can magnify the feelings of loss, and may lead to particularly intense feelings of sadness, depression, loneliness, anger, fear and guilt.

Here are some suggestions to help you this season.

There is no right or wrong way for you to do things during the holidays, remember it is ok to say no to invitations
Acknowledge that this year will be different, give yourself permission to change old traditions and create new rituals that have meaning for you
Remember it is ok to enjoy yourself, to laugh and have fun. Laughter is healing and is not a sign of disrespect
Plan ahead for family gatherings, and involve your children and other family members in discussing plans
Spend time with people who care about you, and are nurturing and supportive
Ask a family member to have the Christmas meal at their house this year
Memorialise your loved one in some way
Talk to someone about how you feel, avoid bottling up your emotions
Try to avoid alcohol and other drugs during periods of depression as excessive use will contribute to the depression and associated guilt.
Try to keep Christmas shopping within your financial means
If you are having a Christmas tree, you may wish to put up a decoration for your child
Consider doing something in memory, such as buy an ornament for your child, plant a tree, donate money that would have been spent on a gift to charity, light a candle in remembrance, play a favourite song, release balloons at the gravesite
Allow yourself to be sad, find a quiet spot to remember your child, go and visit the gravesite
Attend a holiday memorial service
Hang a stocking up and encourage family members to write notes to your child, to be read later.
Ask friends for help with things, such as shopping, wrapping presents, or shop on line to avoid crowds
Give family and friends permission to talk about your child by bringing up his or her name.
Sign your child’s name on Christmas cards

“ The first year I spent heaps of money, trying to compensate with the other children”
“ We felt that it was important to do what we wanted, not what was expected of us”
“ Writing a letter to our families was helpful, describing how we were feeling, and giving them ideas of how they can help us through the holidays”
“We went to the gravesite and released balloons with messages”

Thank-you to all the parents that contributed